"Hey there, come in, I
was just starting a movie."
"Which one?"
"I found this Bollywood
movie - Preeti from Apartment 1022 gave it to me."
"Oh. I hope it's a good
one...ugh, no!"
"What?"
"Ana, Please tell me it's
not 'Happy New Year'!"
"It is Happy New Year, actually. Why
what's wrong with it?"
"You'll see."
~Soon after~
"Good Lord! What is
that?"
"Uh..that's Shah Rukh
Khan, he's kinda a big deal back in India."
"He looks familiar."
"Yeah? Maybe you've seen
his poster around, like I said, he's popular. Especially with the non-resident crowd."
"No, I meant he looks
like that mummy I once saw in the museum of Natural History in Washington
DC."
"Well, don't go saying that too loud, he's got rabid fans."
"I'll be careful."
"He was rather charming
and snazzy in his younger days."
"Which would've been when
I was in pre-school."
~A little later~
"Ha ha ha, what a joker!
This part is pure fiction, right? There isn't actually a place called Parsee
Colony in Bombay, right?"
"Err...actually...there
is."
"And is it full of
desperate housewives?"
"Err...hot in here, let
me put on the AC."
"And do the actually talk
like that and have overbearing mothers?"
"Dinner? Let's order
dinner?"
"Percy...is this
character representative of the community?"
"He's
an...ahem...exaggeration, of course."
"Gross
exaggeration?"
"Cough...marginal...cough."
"Muy comico!"**
"Farah Khan, you have
much to answer for!"
~slightly later~
"Uf! Que es este
feo?"***
"That's Abhishek Bachhan,
my dear. He's the second lead in this movie."
"Seriously? He looks like
the homeless fellows who hang around Boulder creek at night."
"His father is kind of a
Very Big Cheese. Think Marlon Brando - meets - Dwayne - Johnson."
~Much later~
"DIos mio! Belleza!"
"Uh yes, that's Deepika
Padukone."
"Wow!"
"Yes, I know."
"Indian women are so
beautiful!"
"Ana, looking at Deepika
and saying 'Indian women are so beautiful' is a rather incorrect
generalisation. It would be like concluding Colombian women are beautiful basis
you and Sofia Vergara."
"But we are."
"Uh anyway, let's just
get through this, shall we?"
~Much, much later~
"It was hilarious.
Terrible, but hilarious."
"Mostly just
terrible."
"And that woman - wow!
Do women in India walk around dressed like that?"
"Nope, not really."
"And she can move! But those dresses! You should get me one. Or two. What's it called, a saree?"
"Not every Indian dress
is a saree, Ana. Most of the time what you saw her wearing in this was a
lehenga - choli."
"I'd look good in
one."
"The dress hasn't been
invented you wouldn't look good in."
"Aww, Percy. You say the
nicest things. Is this a good Bollywood pose for my Instagram followers? Do I
manage the Deepika whatshername look?"
"It's provocative, shows
cleavage and if you were any less beautiful, would look crass."
"So you mean yes?"
"Sigh...yes, I mean
yes."
"Now get here, I want to
make you say YESSSSS!"
X-X-X-X
*Oh my God!
** Very funny
*** Ugh, what is this
ugliness?
One word, Percy, just one--Puckish!
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