Percy - Ana Chronicles - VI: What makes Indian food hot.

This be mackerel

"What is this!"

"Bluefish curry. I was hoping to find mackerel, but there weren't any. This looked somewhat similar. Hasn't turned out too bad, has it?"

"It's astounding! Fabulous! Amazing!"

"Thanks, I wasn't sure how it would turn out!"

"Is all Indian food this spicy?"

"I'd say not all of it. This is a coastal dish, Malwani, it's called. But there are other sorts that are less brutal on the palate."

"Yes, variety is key. My mother she told me the same thing about Colombian cooking."

"Was she a good cook?"

"Terrible."

"Really?"

"My father did the cooking at home. When mom cooked we suddenly remembered we were on a diet. My father always told me, 'Ana, your mother is a wonderful woman but you're lucky your father knows how to cook'."

"My mother is a brilliant cook. She makes Parsee stuff, Maharashtrian food, Goan, Italian...why are you taking off your t-shirt?"

"Because I'm sweating! This is HOT FOOD."

"Actually, if this curry makes you take off your t-shirt, I think I just discovered an entirely new level of meaning for the word HOT FOOD."

"I should instagram a photo of me right now with the caption 'Bluefish curry and me' "

"Right, of course...you know, a friend just suggested I compile my Facebook posts with our conversations into a book."

"I love the idea! Wait a minute. Check this out - there you go; use this photo!"

"I can't use THIS photo. Mine is a family-friendly feed!"

"Is that why you don't give me your Facebook password? Worried I'll post inappropriate photos?"

"Not so much worried as pretty certain."

"Maybe you would prefer it if I shut down my Instagram too then?"

"Miss S, I would never dream of censoring YOU. But it's MY Facebook feed. You see, where you come from, and the people you know, are very different from the where I come from, and the people I know. I don't even use your full name on here, because, after all, as Shakespeare said...."

"Agua!"

"What?"

"Agua! Water!"

"Yes, I know, but where does water come into it? Shakespeare wrote in English, not Spanish. Maybe you're thinking of Marquez."

"I swallowed a hot pepper, you priceless ass! Give me water!"

"Oh. There you go."

"Am I a hot pepper too?"

"A Red Savina Habanero."

"New caption for new photo!!"

"Sigh! I'm getting back to lunch."

"You never pay me any attention."

"That's so unfair!"

"Here I am, in a state of partial undress, and you're still eating! Fish, I mean."

"Here you are, in a state of partial undress, and you're still eating, too."

"This is so good, though."

"So good."

"We will need ice-cream after."

"We don't have ice-cream, Ana."

"Crap. Yogurt?"

"Nope."

"So what DO we have?"

"Water."

"Blegh. So we will have to go out then?"

"Seems inevitable."

"I hate wearing clothes when I've removed them for a purpose."

"You generally hate wearing clothes."

"That's....like...so...agua. Dame agua!"

"Let's concentrate on the food and talk less, yes? That way maybe you'll eat more fish and less chilli"

"Yes, Percy."

This be Frozen Yogurt